THE NLP DIVORCE AND REUNION

The Grinder Bandler split in the early 1980s was like a divorce. The differences had been festering for a while, which began as disagreements with patterning each co-creator had been working on separately, which eventually led to an agreement between the co-creators to go their separate ways.

The actual break-up was relatively amicable, and as is often the case it significantly  deteriorated  when the lawyers got involved.

The leadership void which opened as a consequence of the above, created opportunities for NLP trainers, some of whom had gained public recognition by being in the Grinder- Bandler experimental groups which tested the patterning in the early days and others who jumped on the bandwagon and manipulated the public perception of the legal arguments in NLP for their own personal gain.

Then the whitewashing or airbrushing of the co-creators began. Fake associations attempted to claim authority status with certification and trainer recognition schemes, scams would be a more accurate description!

One unscrupulous high- profile NLP Trainer cybersquatted Bandler and Grinder web domains and pointed them to his own website, profiting from their names, and when found out, attempted to lease their web domains back to each co-creator for personal profit. Not a good idea, as I was handling the negotiations for web domains to be transferred to their rightful owners, John Grinder and Richard Bandler. 

I could write a book on the scams and attempted scams in NLP through the years. Cases of plagiarism, copyright breach, cybersquatting, leadership summits with unscrupulous members seeking only personal profit financially or otherwise, conspiracy theories, the list goes on

Whilst all the above was occurring, behind the scenes relations between the co-creators were thawing. This was able to happen through a strong working relationship that developed between Richard Bandler’s representative, co trainer, and President of the Society of NLP, John La Valle and myself as John Grinder’s representative, co trainer and Director of ITCA NLP.

Finally, Grinder and Bandler agreed to celebrate 50 years of NLP, by appearing in the same online event, ‘NLP 50’ on 27th September 2025, organised jointly by NLP Seminar Groups International NLP and The NLP Academy, and what a special event it was and rightly so.

BUT, a Grinder and Bandler pact with full recognition of each other’s individual skills and talents that had overlapped uniquely in their collaboration, was not in everyone’s interest. Grinder and Bandler were back  at the top of the NLP hierarchy and rightly so, without disagreement.

So what did The NLP Associations, Leadership Summits and high profile NLP Trainers do when NLP 50 was announced, delivered and since?

Nothing, they kept quiet.

And why?

this article was written by

Founder, NLP Academy

Michael Carroll is the Founder and Course Director of The NLP Academy, established in 1996. As a co–developer of New Code NLP, Michael formalised the training structures of New Code patterning for courses at different levels within the International Trainers and Coaching Academy of NLP (ITCA) which was set up by Michael, John and Carmen to benchmark high standards in the NLP field.

Prior to his NLP career, Michael owned a hugely successful Financial Services Consultancy, where he developed a fascination with psychological business methods. This led to his early studies of NLP and gaining a BSc in Psychology. Today, with 25 years of training and coaching experience, Michael is one of the leading educators in the field who continues to push the boundaries for innovation and high standards.