NLP Academy Forums

Hi Everyone, Oenca here…

Firstly, sorry I’ve been out of the loop for so long.  I’ve been reading most of the NLP activity, but being in the Midlands, its unlikely that I’ll be able to attend many of the get togethers that happen down South. 

Anyway.. the primary reason for ‘writing up’... I had my first ‘Spider Encounter’ last weekend, or was is 2 weekends ago?  Normally I would remember vividly, coz I’d probably still be reliving the event.  But I guess I must be healed.  I’m not going to say Michael, that me and spiders are the best of friends, but something has definitely shifted.

When my little friend appeared in the bathroom, he actually came down from the ceiling to within 15 inches of my face and I didn’t scream, get breathless or anxious.  In fact I went in closer and actually counted his feet - I also looked closely, but there were no shoes!!  I also noticed a small smirk on my face.  So maybe I’m keeping the real laughter for a really big friend!!

Lastly, on the spider subject.  I saw a number of daddylonglegs - now I could normally look at these, or hoover them up, from a distance.  But guess what… as I cleaning up at my office, I actually touched one… and I never died!!!  There is still hope for me.  On a serious note though, at the moment I can sit in my lounge, on my own for hours, without imagining spiders walking along the floor towards me.  So I definitely feel freer.

While I’m here…
Michael, I got so excited about the possibility of the NLP Academy Roadshow… expecting there to be a Birmingham date… y’know the second city… I was disappointed… :(  Nevermind, next time.

What else have I be doing…

Well I’m looking for/experimenting with ways to get my son to engage with me, so that I develop a New Code type activity to develop his high performing state.  His inability to engage consistently with me at the moment is making progress slow. 

Finally, I’ve been working with my UNC, and we’ve been having some interesting conversations.  Just last Wednesday, my husband and I went for a skiing session at Snowdome, Tamworth.  We haven’t been skiing since getting married and the children coming along, so I was a bit apprehensive in case I fell over and hurt myself in the snow.  I asked my UNC if it would work with me to keep me safe whilst I was skiing.  It accepted the challenge… We skied for 3 hours had a great time, no injuries (just stretched lactic muscles 2 days later!!).  Thank you UNC.

I attempted to use the UNC in working with a new client, with his permission to experience something different, but found difficulties getting him to be able to communicate with his UNC.  We got a clear signal for ‘Yes’, after a few iterations, but then he kept zoning out and falling asleep when we were eliciting his ‘No’ signals.  Any suggestions?  We’ve gone back to more traditional coaching methods for now, but would like to try again.

I’ve probably put this in the wrong strand, haven’t I?

Anyway looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Much love
Oenca x

Hey Oenca!

but being in the Midlands

- let’s sort something out and get together. And by the way, I reckon Michael thinks Birmingham is wedged somewhere within spitting distance of Manchester and Leeds…

Great update on the Spider liaison. Maybe he’d kicked off his shoes due to the nice weather? Of course, it’s likely that if he was expecting to bathe, he’d have removed them anyway…

Your client appears to be very comfortable and relaxed. How long is it before he snoozes? Assuming the sleeping / zoning out isn’t itself a signal to be utilised here, have you asked if the absence of a signal is ‘no’, and awaited a ‘yes’ response?

See you soon, I hope

S

Nice to see you in the forum.

Great news about the spider phobia, well old phobia I should say.

Re; your son. How old is he and is he not engaging?

Re; Birmingham, we went there twice before and the numbers were surprisingly low. Maybe you can help next time 

Good news on the unconscious and skiing

Re.  your client. When you don’t get a clear no signal, you can ask - “can we use the absence of a signal as a no?” - if the unconscious is in agreement, it will give a yes to this question. During the work, if you do not get the yes signal in response to a question assume the no response is a no signal.

Best wishes

Michael

Thanks for the input on the absence of a signal as a no. 

One the other point, my son is 6.  He will engage with different things on different levels.  In the evenings he’s often tired from school and just will not engage in anything remotely formal.  I may get some windows of opportunity during the weekend, but he finds it difficult to focus his attention.  He can concentrate for up to 15 minutes at a time, providing I can capture his attention, such that he wants to engage.  I haven’t found a way to do that in a consistent manner yet.  My thought was if I could get him to engage in a New Code activity for 5 - 10 minutes, then introduce do some formal educational things i.e. letters, numbers or words in the hope that this woud be a way into his long term memory.

Please let me know about any potential Birmingham dates and I’ll gladly support signup/enrolment.

Take care, lol Oenca x

Hi Oenca

What games does he like to play? this is a great way to tie New Code games in?

Some people like to use metaphors in a different way to explain the unconscious, the little soldier in you ect… if you get my drift lol

JC

haha! I have the same question.What games does he like to play?

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